It's 2008 and an election year. That means the full force of the Milwaukee's Stupider Media -- the bloggers, the columnists, the yakkers -- are going to be upon you.
Here's a handy A-Z guide on what you can expect to hear from them. Because to Milwaukee's right wing, words mean what they want them to mean!
A is for affirmative action. V. bad -- except when it gets Patrick McIlheran a job as the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel's conservative columnist!
B is for Bush Derangement Syndrome. A condition marked by the belief that George Bush is a good, if not great president,when nearly 7o percent of the country disapproves of the job he's doing. In extreme cases, sufferers will suggest that it's liberals who actually are alienated from America.
C is for Catholic. Against abortion and in favor of vouchers. As for following the Vatican's opposition to the war and support for labor and liberal economic social policies and dialogue with Islamic peoples (including Iran) ... not so much. You can adhere to the Vatican's opposition to the death penalty so long as you mention that (quietly) only once a year.
D is for Democrats. See N is for Nazis.
E is for Evangelicals. S0 long as they mind their place -- dutifully voting for establishment Republicans -- they're fine. Should they try to push one of their own as a presidentail candidate -- Mike Huckabee -- well, that's just unseemly.
F is for France. Because France was right about this whole Iraq War/occupation not being a good idea, they deserve to have abuse heaped upon them. (Neglect to mention that French troops actually are in Afghanistan.) Boycott all things French, including words (laissez faire doesn't count).
G is for Government. Governments that seek to protect the environment, protect workers and administer health care are big bad nannygestapo states. Governments that engage in illegal surveillance of its citizenry, mislead their people into a war and never-ending occupation of another country and actively seek to push people off the voting rolls are called limited governments.
H is for humor. Retard jokes? Hilarious! Irony? That's hard!
I is for Iraq. As long as we stay there, we're winning. No matter how many people (our own and others) are killed or wounded, no matter how many hundreds of billions go down the drain, no matter how much it exacerbates regional tensions or inspires hatred of the US, we're winning. What are we trying to accomplish? We'll tell you that later!
J is for journalism. "The smarter the journalists are, the better off society is. [For] to a degree, people read the press to inform themselves -- and the better the teacher, the better the student body." Warren Buffet said that. It's unclear whether he knew Jessica McBride teaches journalism at UW-M.
K is for Ku Klux Klan. A white supremacist group. A member of this group might call a group of Latinos "chihuahuas" (particularly if it was a bunch of women and kids) and inform them they should learn English or leave -- as did a prominent Wisconsin right wing blogger.
L is for Liberal. See N is for Nazis.
M is for McBride, Jessica. See here.
N is for Nazis. The political party that, under the leadership of Adolf Hitler, led Germany from 1933 to 1945. It was responsible for the bloodiest war in Europe's history and its rein of terror was marked by the Holocaust, the deliberate extermination of six million Jews and many more others deemed as "unfit." Because liberals (i.e. Democrats) see an activist role for government, this puts them on a continuum with the Nazi Party.
O is for Once Upon a Time. A fictitious past that conservatives frequently hark back to in advancing arguments. For example, Owen Robinson believes that in "once upon a time" people grew old with dignity -- and without the indignity of the welfare state. The fact is, of course, that until big gummint came along, old age mean impoverishment for most working people. History is hard!
P is for Pinochet, Augusto. Chilean general who ousted the democratically elected Salvador Allende in a military coup in 1973 and ruled the country until 1990. Even though he was a dictator whose regime killed thousands of people (including the American Ronni Moffitt, who, along with the actual target Orlando Letelier, who was killed in a car bomb assassination in Washington DC in 1976), some righties think he's OK -- or at least his sins are mitigated -- because he instituted a variety of "free market" reforms. The fact that his economic policies proved disastrous and were often reversed is seldom noted.
Q is for quicheoise. A term of opprobrium for Madison lefties that was invoked by Charlie Sykes in a recent column. The coinage earned him all sorts of huzzahs from other right wing bloggers. Obviously -- as with virtually all other bon mots or insights made by this man -- he lifted it. Nothing necessarily wrong with that. But the Brawler wonders where Sykes get the stones to questions some peoples' manliness when he admitted recently that he was incapable of shoveling out his driveway so his car would get through. Charlie, it's not the length of your driveway that matters -- a real man can always carve a path through the snow!
R is for Robinson, Owen. Proprietor of the rightwing blog Boots and Sabers. He doesn't know much about history. He thinks the only things Justice Louis Butler has to run on are his incumbency and his race. He booted off a commenter over dubious charges of sockpuppetry. He posted a retard joke on his blog and said it was OK because his mom had been a special ed teacher. So you can see why he's the keynote speaker for Green Lake County GOP Lincoln Day Dinner on March 2! See also here and here.
S is for Sykes, Charlie. The latest issue of Milwaukee Magazine summed it up nicely with some quotes from yesteryear. "Syked Out:“Away from his professional cronies … his books and his daily blows against the status quo, [WTMJ-AM radio host Charlie] Sykes is an isolated man.” (July 2000). “A man of immense talent and ambitions, yet unsure what to do next in life, a man who has gained the respect and fear of the power elite while failing to win the long-term loyalty of even a single friend.” (h/t Whallah!) The Brawler would add that the man seems to get only pettier -- and lazier (want to know what Chuck's going to talk about tomorrow? read conservative blogs the night before) -- with the passage of time.
T is for T-Shirt. Few things exercise Patrick McIlheran more than kids wearing Che T-shirts. Paddy: Don't worry! You can get a Pinochet t-shirt if you want!
U is for urban. Adj. Scary.
V is for voter fraud. There's never been any evidence of organized voter fraud in Milwaukee (it never had the sort of machine that would drive such abuse, for one, at least in the Twentieth Century), but that won't stop the state GOP and its fellow travelers from raising this charge in election cycle after election cycle -- or advocating Voter ID to address an illusory problem. Meanwhile, it will never occur to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel to investigate GOP-instigated voter suppression.
W is for Walker, Scott. The Milwaukee County executive whose strongest base of supprt may be with right wing pundits who live outside Milwaukee County. Ma Brawler, meanwhile, thinks he's a weasel.
X is for Xoff. A prominent member of a group known to the right wing as the "hate left." The evidence of this group's hate? Its tireless effort to poke holes in the bogus arguments of the right. (However, equating Muslims with Nazis is not hate -- it's just freedom of expression!)
Y is for yacht. Yacht is one of many many words that F. Scott Fitzgerald could not spell. Right-wing blogger and attorney Rick Esenberg is known to make a spelling mistake two, misspelling Favre -- twice! -- in one recent post. According to the formidable logic typical of Jessica McBride (and, frankly, not a few other denizens of Milwaukee's right), this means Rick Esenberg wrote The Great Gatsby.
Z is for Ziegler, Annette. Ethics -- indeed, professionalism -- are for suckers!