Would you hire Scott Walker to run your business?

From a profile of Scott Walker in the March 29, 2002 edition of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:

Walker says he won't stay as county executive beyond 2008, when he'd be 42, and may one day pursue a business career.

"I imagine I'd have a pretty good pitch to any business out there; having resurrected a billion dollar government, think of what I could do for their business?"

Now, everyone's already had a good laugh about how Scott Walker has broken his promise to not stay on past 2008. But the Brawler actually is more amused by the second paragraph. "Think of what I could do for their business." (Brawler note: paragraph edited  for clarity.)

Yikes.

Here's how the Brawler imagines that pitch going:

Setting: A nondescript conference room at Acme Widget Company. Scott Walker is on one end of a table. A recruiter for Acme Widget is at the other end.

Recruiter: I've been looking through your materials. I just wanted to note I was surprised by how many misspellings I caught on your resume --

Walker: I'm giving my secretary 30 days to fix those or she's gone.

Recruiter: Isn't it your responsibility to make sure your resume is clean before you submit it --

Walker: Fifteen days? Would that be decisive leadership or what? Think of what I could do for your business!

Recruiter: Right...and that's why we're here. OK, first off, congratulations on your political career. I think it's safe to say that your ascension to county executive has challenged my belief that this country is a meritocracy.

Walker: Thanks!

Recruiter: Don't mention it. But I had a few questions for you, just a few points I wanted to clarify.

Walker: Go right ahead.

Recruiter: OK. The Milwaukee County Park System has been a jewel of the county. It's a legitimately historic system, a park designed by Frederick Law Olmstead, the whole shebang. Yet under your watch, it's been steadily deteriorating and you've provided no leadership on how to fix it. Why?

Walker: For six straight budgets my proposals have not raised the tax levy from the previous year.

Recruiter: Um...OK. Transportation is crucial to the county's future. Yet the state of public transportation is far worse now than when you arrived. And you've been a significant roadblock to creating the sort of transportation infrastructure this county needs to thrive in a globalized economy. What do you have to say about that?

Walker: For six straight budgets my proposals have not raised the tax levy from the previous year.

Recruiter: You used that line in the February 21 Milwaukee Business Journal, right?

Walker: Among other places.

Recruiter: Thought it sounded familiar. OK, let's try again. You came into office vowing to fix the pension problem. You didn't -- and in fact more problems have surfaced in the past months that you should have caught. The House of Corrections has become a basketcase under your watch. I could go on and on. Why would I want you to run our business?

Walker: For six straight budgets my proposals have not raised the tax levy from the previous year.

Recruiter: I think we're done here.

Walker: Wait, have you talked to my references?

Recruiter: I don't think that'll be necessary.

Walker: They're right outside. Come on in guys.

Recruiter: Do you guys live in Milwaukee County?

Charlie, Owen: Uh...

Recruiter(dialing a number on the phone): Security...

Comments

[capper]

Snicker, snicker. Snort, Snort.

[Zach W.]

Heckuva job, Brawler.

[myspace design]

Hilarious. I enjoyed reading this post.