"Why won't they let him do his job?" a friend asked the Brawler, rhetorically, in 1993 . She was referring to the fax machines and radio mikes a-firing at Bill Clinton. Her biz lobbyist husband had switched his affiliation to D after the hatefest that was the 92 GOP convention. I'm not sure how many people realized to the extent the right was just getting warmed up.
If history is any guide, the right is going to ratchet up its attacks on Obama no later than this Wednesday. Indeed, the greater their loss, the more feverish the attacks. There's going to be very little else for them to rally around except their hatred of President-elect Hussein.
Wil it work? Tough to say. The R brand is in far, far worse shape than the D or even Clinton brand ever was. Obama stands to have a quite impressive margin of victory on his side. The Dems are far more communications savvy than they were back then. The mainstream media may be a little more savvy about being played. And the Brawler thinks people want to believe the best about the new president.
Which is, of course, why the right is going to continue to try to portray him as a smooth-talking America hater who once ran an abortion clininc with William Ayers. The attacks are going to be stupid, nonsensical and constant. All aimed at continuing to drive the theme that we really don't know Barack Obama -- and if you did you'd realize he's everything you're afraid of.
As a public service, the Brawler has prepared an ABC guide to the coming wingnut attacks on the Obama administration. He suspects he's only scratched the surface.
A is for appeasement. "Appeasement!" wingnuts will cry if (and when) the Obama administration tries to effect more normal relations with Iran or includes Taliban elements in Afghan peace talks. Ignorance of what the Munich Agreement actually did -- or awareness that smart military observers think "appeasement" talk is counterrpoductive -- won't be seen as a deterrent.
A is for Ayersization. Wingnuts will search high and low for the most strained radical links to any and all Obama appointees. "Look, it's another Bill Ayers!" wingnuts will cry when it's revealed that an Obama appointee visited the old Militant Book Store on Lisbon while still a teenager. And look how they smeared Rashid Khalidi -- a man whom dyed-in-the-wool Zionist Marty Peretz has defended.
B is for betrayal. Obama will no doubt alienate some liberal constituencies to the delight of wingnuts (who of course will heap scorn on said constituencies). "These people are now learning what Alice Palmer learned, that cynical Barack Obama will betray anyone who's no longer convenient now that he has absolute power!"
B is for bureaucracy. The Bush Administration has packed federal offices with inept, Liberty University C-students who, quite conceivably, could try to backstab or impede the plans of their new boss. No doubt some of them will publicly denounce the One and be hailed as heroes. And lord help Obama should he try to prune some deadwood. The right will suddenly find itself defending federal bureaucrats!
C is for Chicago. Inevitably some administration member will be busted for some level of corruption, penny ante or other wise. This will lead to accusations that this is the most corrupt administration evah. "This shouldn't surprise anyone -- Obama's from Chicago!" (This goes double should Rahm Emanuel become chief of staff.)
D is for Defense. The Defense budget is packed with programs and weapons whose purposes are political rather than protecting the nation. Appropriately Obama will look to slash some of these programs. (Godwilling, perhaps even Star Wars.) This will open the way for Hugo Chavez to mount an airborne attack on the heart land of the US of A. Wolverines!
E is for Economy. Any and all negative twists and turns in the economy after Obama is elected -- not even takes office -- will be blamed on Obama. Any improvement in the economy will be in spite of him.
F is for the Fairness Doctrine. Regardless of whether Obama supports the reinstatement of some aspects of the Fairness Doctrine (perhaps the RNC should be forced to cough up some shekels every time Rush, Charlie Sykes, etc. read from their scripts?), talk show hosts will act as if their backs are up against the wall if only to whip up their addled true believers.
G is for gays. Any and all effort by Obama to further the homosex agenda will be hawked by wingnuts. They'll even make stuff up -- as Sykes has done -- such as saying he supports gay marriage. And no doubt it will come up in the fight over Supreme Court justice appointments.
H is for hangover. As in, "The Obamamoonbats were drunk with joy when Acorn helped the One steal the election, but now that the seas have not receded they're experiencing a hangover." The severity of the hangover, as well as the sense of betrayal (see above), will of course be exaggerated beyond all reason.
H is for health care. Regardless of the actual details of a plan, it will be attacked as socialized medicine. So really, what's to be lost in fighting for single payer?
H is for Hussein. Never before will a president's name be repeated so often. Maybe it will replace his name upon some lips. "President Hussein."
I is for illegitimate. Regardless of the scale of the ass-kicking Obama bestows upon McCain, Acorn-fearing reality-deniers will claim voter fraud was the reason we have a black president.
J is for Joe the Plumber. "What does this mean for Joe the plumber?" wing nuts will intone on matters from ranging from affirmative action to tax policy. Joe's income level and actual job will fluctuate based on the manner wingnuts wish to attack Obama's alleged war against working-class white folk. Joe the real not-licensed plumber seems bound for an appearance on Cops after a signing party for his country record goes awry.
J is for John Galt. Joe the Plumber's slightly affluent neighbor. Raising marginal tax rates for higher income folks as well as capital gains taxes will allegedly encourage people to drop out of the job market or work less. Though there's no evidence this has happened in, oh, 40 years. Going John Galt is the conservative version of moving to Canada.
K is for Kwanzaa. Did you know Barack Obama is black? Wingnuts will endlessly find ways to remind you he is. And Obama's friends? They're even more black than he is!
L is for lies. Reagan said he wouldn't raise taxes and he did -- repeatedly -- without hearing the L word from wingnut quarters. The Brawler looks forward to Charlie Sykes, who lies (literally lies) like other people breathe, call Obama a liar for not delivering on all his election promises.
M is for Mainstream elite media: No, the formulation doesn't make sense. But they're the people who made Obama's election possible by totally ignoring the Jeremiah Wright story and not releasing the video tape of Obama burning an Israeli flag at Khalidifest.
M is for Mexicans. No, their skin is not as dark as Obama's. But they're still pretty dark (to cop a line from a half-remembered Onion piece). So whipping up fears of them is as good a rallying point as any for the eviscerated Republican party. Particularly given that Obama will want to spread them some wealth.
M is for Michelle Obama. She's going to go from the angriest woman in America to the black Hillary Clinton in the wingnut imagination. And that "Whitey" tape is going to be a week away from being released for as long as Obama's in office. The leakers just thought it would be more damaging to release it after he's in the White House!
N is for Naive. Willingness to pull out of Iraq in a timely manner (as Iraqis want us to)? Naive. Talking with Iran without necessarily requiring them to do anything first? Naive. Potentially sitting down with elements of Taliban to bring about peace in Afghanistan? Naive. Not preemptively nuking China after William Kristol discloses they're thisclose to attacking Taiwan? Naive. Not preemptively nuking Iran after William Kristol discloses they're thisclose to attacking Taiwan? Naive. Not preemptively nuking Russia after William Kristol discloses they're thisclose to attacking Taiwan? You guessed it: naive.
O is for Osama. A totally natural slip of the tongue -- "Barney Fag, Barney Frank" -- that we can expect to hear often.
P is for President. As in the soon-to-be-widely repeated "Not my president."
Q is for Quota. He's going to have a quota for his cabinet. He's going to have a quota for White House positions. He's going to demand quotas across the Washington bureaucracy. He's going to make your boss fire you and replace you with an unqualified minority candidate. He's going to dig up your great-granddaddy and replace his bones with those of an unqualified minority. Thomas Sowell breaks it all down in his upcoming book, "Why Obama didn't really win the presidency."
R is for Reagan. Rightwingers know they'll get laughed at if they say Obama's worse than George W. Bush. But they can say he's worse than Ronald Reagan, particularly if they lie about Reagan. Like: Obama's so negative and divisive unlike the sunny Reagan (who dropped the line "welfare queen"?). Obama is raising taxes -- Reagan didn't raise taxes (except when he did -- including during dicey times)! Obama is talking to our enemies -- Reagan threatened our enemies (which nearly led to a nuclear exchange and he only accomplished anything by ignoring the neocons and sitting down with Gorbachev). Yes, the Reagan Myth is going to get a lot more distorted in the coming years.
S is for smooth. After George W. Bush was president, it became incumbent upon Republicans to attack eloquence -- i.e. speaking in complete sentences. (Just as during the 2000 election it was incumbent upon Republicans to attack Gore for, you know, knowing stuff.) Obama will give speeches laden with policy details everyone will hear, except, strangely enought right-wing talk show hosts who will content themselves with saying, "Obama's detailed speech addressing health care reform -- it was so smooth, wasn't it?"
S is for Socialism. Only pointyheads say socialism is about state ownership of industry. It's really about taking your hard-earned tax dollars and giving them out as welfare to coloreds darkies blacks moochers. And Patrick McIlheran!
T is for taxes. Obama will raise taxes. He may even raise taxes beyond what he says he's doing now. His enemies will say this will tank the economy and is a betrayal. Ignoring that the economy boomed after Clinton raised taxes ... and it grew after Reagan (who approved a tax hike in the shadow of a recession) raised taxes as well. Still, don't expect reality intrude on the wingnuts' supply-side fantasies.
T is for thugocracy. Obama supporters call in to a radio show to challenge a journalist who has definitive proof that Bill Ayers wrote both of Obama's books? Thugocracy! Some congressman loses access after crossing him? Thugocracy! Crowds of people come see him? Thugocracy if not incipient fascism.
U is for union bosses. Yeah, the big cigar-chomping union bosses are back. And they're gonna take away your secret ballot at work. Yeah, that's the ticket. Thank god that the business lobby cares so much for workplace democracy that they're taking money out of their union-busting budgets to warn about card check.
V is for voter fraud. The bigger Obama's margin of victory simply means the greater the amount of fraud.
W is for war. Soldiers are going to get killed in Afghanistan and Iraq after Obama is elected. Right-wing radio talk show hosts who had ignored high body counts in the past will suddenly care about the human cost of the Bush wars. Every casualty will be the result of the enemy testing Obama. Charlie Sykes may even demand we start seeing photos of caskets being sent back home.
W is for Who is Barack Obama? Obama could be in the White House for 8 years and we still won't have any idea who he is.Weirdest thing.
X is for xenophilia. Barack Obama and his wife -- especially his wife -- hate America. That's why all the things they want to do to America are antithetical to our way of life and are "European."
Y is for Youth. The Brawler fearlessly predicts we will see an increase in youth turnout this election -- which will prompt radio talk show hosts with near-death listening audiences to gripe more than ever about those goddamn kids.
Z is for Zucker, David. A potential Dem ascendancy is going to nurture a cottage industry of youtube videos, or youtube videos masquerading as feature films. that point out Michael Moore is fat, Michelle Obama hates whitey and octaroons and other shit that only the truly converted will believe is funny.
Just in: O is for overreach. Obama will be the first president to overreach before he actually takes office.
Just in: G is for grandma. She didn't just die -- Obama kilt her for the sympathy vote!
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
Posted by: chuckreece | November 03, 2008 at 05:44 AM
Well done, Sir.
I just wish it wasn't quite so accurate.
Posted by: grumps | November 03, 2008 at 11:41 AM
"Right-wing radio talk show hosts who had ignored high body counts in the past will suddenly care about the human cost of the Bush wars."
Depend on it.
Posted by: Bert | November 03, 2008 at 05:03 PM